One woman's perspective of (twin) parenting (and other thoughts about things)
So my husband and I managed (with much wrangling) to navigate our respective parental leave work policies and land six months parental leave together in a way that we could afford.
Obviously, this brought wonderful bonuses and a non zero amount of challenges.
One of these challenges was that it took me until the Smols were 5 months old before I felt ready to have them by myself for the day, allowing my husband to do a KIT/SPLIT (Keep In Touch/Shared Parental Leave In Touch) day at work down in That London (normally he works from home, you see…).
This, friends, is my live voice note blog of that day.
5.00am: Husband leaves. Smols still both asleep. Suddenly realise how loud the car is.
7.03am: Everybody awake. Feeding the Smols. Repeat “it’s going to be fine” to myself more times than is probably acceptable.
7.54am: Bring Smols downstairs, feed dog before he starts barking. Nobody needs that at this time in the morning.
8.03am: Smols in high chairs “reading” books, I have a cup of tea. I am nailing this.
8.15am: Smols down for first nap.
8.47am: Smol T wakes up. No interest in any more sleep, thank you Mummy. Bring Smol T downstairs.
8.58am: Unload dishwasher to amuse Smol T. Really don’t want them to grow out of being amused by EVERYTHING.
9.07am: Look lovingly at gin glass, make note to rekindle romance later.
9.20am: Smol J wakes up. Take Smol T upstairs, go for a wee, take Smol T downstairs, go upstairs to collect Smol J, bring Smol J downstairs. Look at the clock to work out how long it is until they need feeding. It’s a variation on our current mantra: “Is it naptime yet?”
9.25am: Smol T has learned how to squeal in the last few days. Today, it’s in full swing.
9.45am: Feel like we’ve been doing play time for two hours already (it’s been 20 minutes).
9.50am: Listen to Christina Perri’s A Thousand Years, cry uncontrollably.
9.55am: Come upstairs because neither Smol is showing any signs of hunger and I want to get ahead of that curve.
10.00am: The formula prep machine is still running and the Smols are now HUNGRIER THAN THEY HAVE EVER BEEN.
10.03am: Doorbell goes. Luckily we have a very understandable postman who doesn’t mind the extra trip to the garden.
10.05am: Smols have just held their own bottles for a second or two. Please please PLEASE let this be a sign of things to come.
10.40am: Manage the first verse of “You are my sunshine” baby signing before they get bored.
11.00am: Pop onto a Zoom NCT coffee morning to break up the morning. Manage half an hour before the Smols are MORE TIRED THAN THEY HAVE EVER BEEN.
11.40am: No idea where the morning went. Celebrating by eating half a camembert.
11.45am: Smol T squeaking, I decide there’s no way we are done with the nap, so I deploy a dummy and do some writing for the blog.
12.05pm: Smol T wakes up properly, I’ve just been writing about my pregnancy panic attack, so we come downstairs and have a lovely two minute cuddle before Smol J wakes up.
12.07pm: (this message is just Smol J screaming)
1.10pm: Feeding. Christina Perri just came on my “random music playlist” again. More crying.
At some point a friend comes over for a coffee and a walk. Obviously I’m so excited by adult company that I stop recording voice notes for 3 hours…
4.03pm: Get back from the walk, Smol T still asleep unexpectedly, so obviously feel the need to check they are alive. When does mum anxiety stop (asking for a friend)? What’s that you say? Never? Cool cool cool.
4.08pm: Had to wake Smol T up for milk. Happy for two minutes. Then both HUNGRIER THAN THEY HAVE EVER BEEN.
4.30pm: Finish the feed. Mummy really needs a sit down. Smols, having napped and fed are now MORE AWAKE THAN THEY HAVE EVER BEEN and DEMAND ENTERTAINMENT.
4.33pm: Smol J inexplicably very sad for 30 seconds.
4.43pm: Tried to cuddle Smol T, who threw themselves off my lap onto the floor. Now Smol T is sad (slightly less inexplicably than Smol J).
6.00pm: Dog tea time. So nearly there.
6.05pm: Decide against doing solo bathtime.
6.45pm: Tandem feeding before bed. Not as calming as their normal bedtime routine, it must be said…
6.57pm: Just remembered I ordered takeaway pizza before I started this feed. I am a genius.
7.34pm: Both Smols in bed, approaching sleep. I eat pizza and drink gin now.
10.00pm: Husband returns. Apparently. I have been asleep for some time by this point.